19 April 2010

Catalyst

            Brien stared out the window as the impala traveled further and further up the road. He had hoped that not looking at the person in the driver's seat would calm him somehow, but that was not the case. If anything, not looking in his direction made Brien want Angelo even more. He knew that what he was feeling was wrong, but he just didn't give a damn.
           
            The feelings had started to develop weeks ago, when Brien had accidentally walked into the bathroom and caught Angelo relieving himself in the shower. Things had been awkward at first, but in a couple days, Angelo had seemed to have forgotten the incident, while Brien was left with thoughts and feelings that he had never before experienced. Several times over the last few nights, Brien had woken up sweating and panting after having some erotic dream about Angelo. And what was worse, the dreams were only getting more vivid as time went on.

            He could feel Angelo's eyes on him now. He prepared himself for the inevitable questioning. "What's going on with you?" Angelo asked. His voice sounded slightly hoarse from lack of use. Almost at once, an image popped into Brien's head of him being the reason for Angelo's voice sounding so husky.

            "What do you mean?"

            "You've barely said a word all day. What's going on?"

            "Nothing's going on, Angelo. I'm just...tired. That's all."

            "You've never been too tired to talk to me before."

            "Angelo, I'm fine, ok? Just drop it."

            Angelo was silent for a moment. "Is this about what you saw?"

            Brien's breath caught in his throat; he was not expecting Angelo to ever bring that up. "What are you talking about?" Brien asked, trying to sound casual.

            "Don't play stupid with me, Brien, you know exactly what I'm talking about."

            "I don't wanna talk about that."
           
            "We have to."

            "Why?"

            "Because if it's gonna make you be weird, then it's something that we need to talk about."

            "Since when do you want to talk about anything that doesn't concern you screwing some bimbo?" There was a hint of malice in his voice and Angelo picked up on it.

            "What the hell is going on with you?"

            "You're with a different girl every night, and there's something going on with me?"

            The car skidded to a halt in the dirt on the side of the road. Angelo looked over at Brien, who was still looking resolutely out the window. "Since when do you care who I'm with?"

            "Face it Angelo, you're a slut."

            "You're not talking to me because I'm a slut?" Angelo asked, and Brien could tell simply by the tone of his voice that he was confused as hell.

            "You just don't get it." How could he possibly tell Angelo how he felt? How could he find words to express the fact that he wanted to rip every shred of clothing from Angelo's body and make him fuck him until Judgement Day?

            "Brien—"

            "Don't."

            "Brien, I—"

            "Can we please not talk about this?" Brien asked, watching a small possum fishing a pebble out of the dirt.

            "Look at me."

            "No."
           
            "Brien look at me."

            "I said no, Angelo."

            "I'm not asking you," Angelo said, reaching over and grabbing hold of Brien's chin. Brien swatted the hand away with all the force that he could muster and finally turned to look at the object of his affection.

            His breath caught in his throat. At this moment, Angelo looked sexier than Brien had ever remembered him. He was covered in a thin layer of sweat from the summer heat, his lips looked full, and his eyes were full of concern. Something took hold of Brien, and he took complete and total leave of his sanity. He grabbed Angelo's face and kissed him so fiercely that both of them saw stars. For a moment, Angelo fought it, and then something fell in to place in his head. This is what was missing.

            Whenever he would kiss one of the random girls that he was with, it felt empty and meaningless. This kiss made him feel whole and pure, like it was the kiss that he had been waiting for all his life. Finally he gave in and before either one knew what was happening, both tongues were fighting for dominance. Before Brien could stop himself, his seat belt was off and his hand was roaming all over Angelo's body.

            For once, Brien felt like he was doing something right. His hand snaked its way into Angelo's pants and grabbed hold of Angelo's cock and Angelo's eyes snapped open and he broke the kiss at last. He wrenched Brien's hand out of his pants, opened the door and practically tumbled out of the car.

            "Angelo," Brien panted, opening his own door and climbing out of the car. He ran around the front and saw Angelo lying against the car. Brien extended a hand to try to help him up.

            "No," Angelo half panted, half shouted. "Stay away from me!"

            "Angelo, what are you—"

            "Stay the fuck away from me!" Angelo shouted, backing away from him.

            Brien stood rooted to the spot, slowly understanding what was going on. "Angelo, no."

            Angelo got up and backed away further, his mouth hanging open and the confusion and disgust of what he'd just done showing quite plainly on his face.

            The tears were starting to well up behind Brien's eyes. "Angelo, please," Brien said, shaking his head slowly, his voice breaking. "Please don't do this."

            "What are you?"

            "I'm still me," Brien said, the tears streaming freely from his eyes. He took another step forward.

            Angelo stood his ground this time. His face was hard and his jaw was set; Brien didn't know if he had ever seen him so mad. "If you ever touch me or my cock again I will beat the shit out of you. Do you understand me?"

            "Angelo..."

            "I said do you UNDERSTAND me?!"

            "Yes!" Brien said, weeping harder than ever. Through is tears, Brien could hear Angelo walking away. The next thing he knew, he heard the car door slam and
Angelo speeding off.

1 comment:

  1. This excerpt is so raw and tender. You can understand Brien's hesitation, and feel his pain.

    ReplyDelete