Fear

What scares you?

It still boggles my mind that, six months ago, I was still just this fledgling writer, obsessively submitting manuscripts and waiting on acceptance letters that just weren't coming, and now I've got one book out, two more coming out before the end of this year, and one newly accepted. Four books. Seriously?? FOUR books? Does my editor have me confused with someone else? Perhaps someone who knows what they're doing? Or does she see potential in my words that others (sometimes even myself) do not? And now that the stories have made it through the editor's initial inspection, what will the readers think? How will they react? Will they love my characters as much as I do, or will they hate them, and flame them to their friends so everyone finds out that I'm a great big fraud? Or, worse...what if they think the story is terrible and they sound off in the reviews about how bad it is...and what if I start to believe them?

The whole purpose of this post is to announce the sale of my new story. It's the third book in my Stories of Us series: a m/m erotic horror piece called Last Friday Night. Now, ordinarily as a writer, I don't let my insecurities get the best of me. I mean, in this business, I can't; I'd never finish another book if I did. But for the purposes of this post, I'm going to let my demons out for a little bit to breathe, because this book is about fear. It's got nothing to do with things that go bump in the night, or the creepy crawlies that always seem to find us no matter where we are, or even the unknown that lurks just outside of our realm of vision. The fears that my heroes have to face in this book are the fears that mold their very beings. They're the fears that literally paralyze you the second you even think about thinking about them. And it's those fears that it's nearly impossible to conquer.

To be honest, if anyone asked, I could tell them the inspiration behind every book I've written thus far except this one. I have no idea where this story came from. I know that my heroes, Tyler Mack and Jessie Nalick, both showed up on the page for the first time in another story I'm still working on, and that when I watched Burlesque last year, I came up with a totally different story for them. But when I sat down to work on this one, the words just poured from me as if the story was already told and I wasn't doing anything more than writing it down. Honestly, it took me less than a month to write it. I've never written anything that fast before that wasn't on a deadline. But once I was done and going through a round of self-edits, I started thinking to myself: what am I really afraid of? And if I was forced to confront those fears head on as Tyler and Jessie do in this story, could I do it? Could anyone?

What about you? What are you afraid of? And how do you get past that fear?

Six Sentence Sunday 9/11/11

This week's six is from one of my current WIPs Speak Now. Brandon's been in love with his best friend since they met. They may finally be getting somewhere.

His lips were even softer than I’d imagined them being and, even though I could taste the tequila on his breath as he breathed into me, I could still taste whatever flavor chapstick he’d used before we’d left his apartment; his lips tasted like blue raspberry. All other sounds in the room faded away and, for that one, precious moment, it was only me and Brandyn and the blossoming warmth of my dreams coming true. One of his hands found the side of my face and the other the small of my back; he pulled me closer and the kiss deepened. It was everything I’d wanted since the moment I met him, but it felt wrong. He was drunk, and no matter how badly I wanted to, I couldn’t take advantage of him in this state. I tried to pull away, but he followed me, his tongue waging an all out war against my own.

For more authors who may or may not be experiencing a first kiss, be sure to check out the Six Sentence Sunday site here.

Pushing the Envelope

I'm reading this book right now that I'm really enjoying. It's called Beyond Eden and it's by the lovely Kele Moon. Now, before I ever really thought about buying this book, it was suggested to me, so I was checking out some of the reviews for it on the publisher's website, and there were a couple reviews on there that BLASTED the book. Not because the story telling fell short. Not because of shoddy writing. Not even because they felt like the characters needed something more. They were upset because the characters were unfaithful, and one person even went as far as to say that she was "shaking her head in disgust". Really? Truly? Now, I'm all for people having their opinions and having the right to post reviews for stories they don't like, but this is just going a bit overboard. Make it constructive.

I know that personally, as an author I strive to tell stories that are going to be as boundary pushing as the characters require. My upcoming release from Etopia Press was rejected from the very publisher that put out Beyond Eden, and one of the editor's reasons for doing so was because their readers get upset when someone cheats. I thought that was odd, but went along with it, anyway. I never thought people actually got disgusted over books enough to protest where everyone can see. Now, in the case of Can't Make You Love Me, Sean and Dylan aren't in an established relationship, but they do screw around quite a bit. So are reviews like the ones Beyond Eden got something I should prepare myself for? Should I try to censor or taper down what I write in an attempt to shelter the reader's sensibilities?


Despite the horror and insanity and often supernatural elements in my writing, I try to write the characters the way they would be if they were actually flesh and blood and walking down the street to the grocery store. People cheat. It's a fact of life. Sometimes you get into a relationship and you don't want to hurt the other person by breaking up with them. Another fact of life. Now, don't get my wrong, I'm not trying to justify or glamorize the act in any way shape form or fashion, but it happens. And if it can happen in life, why can't it happen in a book without people going up in arms? Why shouldn't authors be allowed to push the envelope and tell great stories just because people might get offended? If that's the case, I should shelve three or four of my WIPs right now, because I already know they're going to rub a lot of people the wrong way.


What about you? What are some things you absolutely can't take when reading a book? And if you encounter that element do you finish the book and then write a review expressing your distaste, or simply put it down and refuse to go back to it?